Progesterone Blah

I took my last progesterone suppository last Monday night. I had blood drawn on Friday afternoon. Andddd I got back the results from my blood draw this morning.

Over the weekend I told myself that I'd be happy with anything over 30. It was 59.6 two weeks ago (while I was still on PIO shots, etc.) so I figured that it's only natural for it to drop by quite a bit when it goes from supplementation to no supplementation at all.

My level on Friday was 37.6. And I'm scared even though I told myself I couldn't be. It's definitely because my doctor seemed concerned when she told me the results. She wants me to go back on a suppository every other night and repeat the blood test next Monday. That obviously means that she is not happy with my new number.

I'm really disappointed. As scared as I was to go off the progesterone I was excited that my body would finally be doing things on it's own and last night I honestly believed that I trusted my body to do it's job and that the blood test results would bring good news. My thyroid is still at a good level which is positive I guess. Ugh.

Dear Baby

Dear Baby,

The night before last we were laying down in bed, getting ready to go to sleep, and Daddy reached over and started poking all over my belly! I jumped back and asked what he was doing because I thought that he was poking my ever-increasing chub and he said that he was trying to feel you. I laughed because I do that all the time. I’m pretty sure that you hang out a lot on my right side. You’re only the size of an avocado but we already love you so much…and we have loved you since before you were the size of a poppy seed.

Love, Mommy and Daddy

15 Weeks

How far along? 15 weeks, 1 day

Total weight gain: 8 pounds. Gah.

Maternity clothes? All the time! I love them :)

Stretch marks? None yet other than the ones that already existed from previous weight loss on my hips and boobs. I wouldn't be surprised if more popped up on my chest before too long though because they are monsters.

Sleep: Still wanting to sleep all the time. I can barely stay awake through a whole movie anymore. The other day I got mad at Josh for falling asleep while we were watching something and 2 minutes later…I was out.

Best moment this week: Josh has just been especially sweet this week with all of the baby stuff. He knows that I'm almost out of my mind anxious about the progesterone thing and he's just been so reassuring and helpful. He tells me every day how much he believes that going off everything won't cause problems and that he just knows that the baby will be okay.

Miss Anything? Nothing at all. Everything is worth it.

Movement: Still too early. I'm dying to feel something though! At my NT scan the tech mentioned that I have an anterior placenta though so it may still be a while for me unfortunately.

Food cravings: I was craving pancakes/waffles but after having those for dinner last night that craving has passed. Now it's an egg salad sandwich, that's been pretty constant since Easter though. I could eat those all the time.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Still applesauce and most of the time chicken. Also mashed potatoes. That addition makes me pretty sad because my brother in law makes the best mashed potatoes ever and I just can't stomach them anymore.

Gender: Since the NT scan tech guessed girl I've completely switched to absolutely believing that the baby is a girl. Josh and I even refer to the baby as she…basically all the time. We won't know for sure though until our next appointment on May 16th.

Labor Signs: Nope.

Symptoms: Ummmm….since I went off the progesterone they've all gotten a lot better. I'm still tired, the chest is still out of control and I'm starving basically all the time but that's it. I haven't had any nausea at all in the last 2 days, before that I was still throwing up at least every couple of days.

Belly Button in or out? Deep deep in.

Wedding rings on or off? On!

Happy or Moody most of the time: Still happy almost all the time! Happy and anxious!

Looking forward to: Next ultrasound on May 16th.

Done with the Prometrium!!!

Last night was the last night that I was supposed to take my prometrium pill. Taking it was kind of scary but more exciting by that point. I'm feeling really optimistic for a change about giving my body and what it's helped to produce a chance to take care of things on it's own.

My doctor said that the PIO shots should be out of my system within 3 days and the last one I had was last Thursday...so that's probably gone. Since 5 weeks I've been on 2 prometrium suppositories a day (at least...I was taking 3 for awhile while I was spotting) and for the past few days I was only taking 1. So basically my body is on the least amount of supplementary progesterone that it's had during this pregnancy. And this morning I was still nauseous, my boobs are still huge and I still feel pregnant.

My fingers are crossed that as the last suppository finishes up it's work in there my body continues to plug away. It's all up to you now, placenta!

P.S. I finally uploaded some pictures from our NT scan onto the Current Stats page...better late than never!ALSO I added a new tab with bump pictures.

The Pregnancy Journal

Ever since I got pregnant I've wanted to start a pregnancy journal for our little one. At first, when I was spotting, I was way too scared. I just knew that if I started one then it would something guarantee that I would lose the baby. Then as I grew to be more comfortable feeling actually pregnant…I still didn't start.

I think that a pregnancy journal and, after the baby is born, a journal full of memories and thoughts about when he/she is little would be such a treasure to have. It would be good for me to be able to express moments of joy or humor, just the little things that I'd like to remember. I can also just picture being able to share those things with him/her and I know my memory…it's not the greatest.

I have the journal and I have the thoughts and quite a few memories already that I'd love to record in it but I still haven't started just because I’m not sure where to start or what format to really put it in. So I'm looking for advice or inspiration. If you kept/are keeping a pregnancy journal how did you start? Were you able to keep up with it? Or did your mom keep one? OR have you seen anything online that you think would be good inspiration/advice for me?

Losing the safety blanket

As I mentioned in my updates post I am going to be weaned off of progesterone supplementation this week. This is causing me a lot of anxiety but I’m trying very hard to trust my doctors and to trust my placenta.

Since I found out that I had issues with my body producing low progesterone I've researched and I logically know that once the placenta has formed and functioning my ovaries and their progesterone production are not as important. The placenta supports the baby and the pregnancy and my ovaries are let off the hook. I've always said that once I got to the point where that happened I'd be able to relax. Now that I'm actually at this point "the calm" hasn't hit me. Even though I rationally know that the progesterone supplementation isn't needed anymore I also have the traumatic experiences of losing pregnancies where my progesterone was the issue and I am completely paranoid for that reason. Those pregnancies were very early and we're at 14 and a half weeks with this one but I just can't hold onto that for some reason.

I am very thankful that my doctors have kept my progesterone monitored and that the plan is to continue that throughout the pregnancy. I had my last PIO injection last night (100mg), I take 2 prometrium suppositories tonight, 2 prometrium suppositories tomorrow night and then 1 prometrium suppository on Sunday and Monday nights. As of Tuesday I'll be off the supplementation. I have a blood draw on Friday to check my progesterone level at that point (all of the supplementary P should be out of my system by then) and to check my TSH. So we'll go from there.

Can anyone who has been on the progesterone supplementation before help calm me down about this? I'm just terrified that as soon as I go off the progesterone spotting will commence and I'll lose the baby. It's not logical at all but it's there.

Updates…..Take Two

I have been a negligent blogger and I apologize. A huge thanks and hug to all of you who have stuck around through my erratic posting!

Everything is going wonderfully with us and the little one. I have a lot to update you on so here are some bullet points with the big things.

*We announced our pregnancy to the rest of our family and friends on Easter Sunday. Everyone is THRILLED and my mom has already begun shopping now that the news is out. Even though we don't have a for sure gender I have 3 cute little pink outfits sitting on my dresser, a pink hairbow and 3 books for baby.

*My 13 week progesterone came back all the way back up to 59.6. I met with my NFP doctor this past Wednesday and she said that she's completely comfortable with weaning me off of progesterone supplementation. I started the process this week and should be completely off by next Tuesday. Separate post coming with my crazy feelings about this (some bad, some good).

*I had another ultrasound with my OB on Wednesday. He didn't measure the little one but baby looked healthy and big. We also saw a beautiful, fully formed placenta (something I was on the lookout for since I know that means good things when it comes to progesterone) and got to hear the heartbeat. It made me nervous that he didn't measure anything (What if the heartbeat is slowing down?? What if the baby hasn't grown??) but it also kind of reassured me in an odd way that he is in no way worried about our baby. He asked me if I was feeling better and when I told him that I still feel like every week we move forward is quite an accomplishment he stopped me in my tracks and told me that with how everything has been going I have literally no reason to worry. I, of course, am not going to stop worrying until I am holding our baby in my arms (and I highly doubt I'll stop then) but it did make me feel better.

*The bump is becoming more noticable. I'm almost fully in dresses lately and loving it. I have a package of maternity clothes coming in from Old Navy today (YAY) and will most definitely be sharing my favorites.

*My morning sickness has calmed down. I'm no longer running to the bathroom every morning. Both last week and this week I've been averaging throwing up 3-4 days of the week which is definitely an improvement. My boobs are still out of control (like growing out of my new bras out of control). My "regularity" that I enjoyed throughout the first trimester has also disappeared and I can totally relate to Jesica's post from yesterday…something I wish I couldn't relate to at all!

I have a few posts ready to roll out over the next few days (How we're weaning me off of progesterone and my total paranoia about the whole thing, pregnancy journal thoughts, etc.) so stay tuned!

My Little Love

It's been an eventful baby week in our house! Last weekend we broke the news to some long-time friends (who were thrilled of course, they knew about the past miscarriages and that we'd been trying), on Tuesday we found out that my progesterone dropped (cue freak out), we had our picture taken for our "going public" announcement and today was the NT scan.

Progesterone news first. I've been getting blood drawn once every 2 weeks so that my doctor can monitor my progesterone levels. The time before last it was 52 (which is the same number that it was the test before). When I got my test results this week and found out it was 40 I had a complete breakdown. Crying in the car while driving home on the freeway breakdown status. My doctor's nurse is the one who gave me the results and my doctor wasn't in the office at the time so I was left to over-analyze and self-diagnose = never a good thing. Luckily my doctor texted me later that evening (have I mentioned that I love her??) and told me that 40 is still a very healthy number. She told me that it was normal for my progesterone to dip since the placenta is forming and will be taking over and that my levels are still almost a whole standard deviation higher than an average pregnancy. Crisis averted. I still didn't like that it dropped but I felt better. Does anyone have any experience with this? I'm still slightly worried but trying not to be. From what I can tell most people don't have their progesterone monitored past a few weeks earlier than I am now so I can't really find any information to compare to.

This morning I went into the NT scan anxious…mostly because of the progesterone drama. My mom came with me because Josh had to work and she was practically bouncing off the walls excited. Luckily everything was perfect. Baby measured at 12w1d (growing the perfect amount from what they estimated me to be at my last US), heart was beating beautifully, no soft markers for downs were found and baby's heart ventricles were fully formed and formed correctly. I got about a million pictures to take with me that I can't wait to barrage Josh with when he gets home tonight :) Once I scan them in I'll post them to the Stats page on here…we got a particularly cute one of baby's feet up in the air. My tech also made an educated guess on gender but obviously the chance of error is still pretty high and we won't find out anything for sure until our anatomy scan on May 22nd.

Last but not least….this is the picture that we'll be giving to my grandparents and coming out with on Facebook this Sunday.